The Surprising Return of the Prodigal Christmas Spirit

Just part of the collection

I've been a lover of Christmas since I was a child, when the excitement, the colors, the lights of the holidays was sometimes overwhelming.  I was a fanatic, especially when it came to music.  We were in a constant rotation of Sing Along With Mitch and Ray Coniff Singers We Wish You a Merry Christmas music at my house.  As I grew up, I started a lot of my own Christmas traditions -- mailing Christmas cards to nearly everyone I knew, always on December 8th.  Buying Christmas ornaments on my travels throughout the year.  Putting up the tree on the day after Thanksgiving.  Selecting a new Christmas album/CD each year. A growing collection of wooden nutcracker statues and Dickens Village Houses. A beautiful nativity set decorated with lights and sparkly material. Planning parties and cookies and party outfits and gifts starting as early as September.  Christmas was simply the best!

Christmas parties and fancy clothes!

But somewhere along the line, that spirit filtered away.  I think it began in the late 1980's when I became a business owner.  The office Christmas parties which had been a staple of our existence began to drift away.  I often had to work quite a bit leading up to the holidays and during.  As we got into the 1990's, other things began to interfere in my Christmas plans, thus sapping my spirit.  Financial instability.  Raising our grandson and having the unfortunate experience of visiting him in juvenile jail on Christmas Eve.  The loss of my father. Many of these things began to get in the way of any traditions we had.  I got into the idea of unplugging the Christmas Machine, and felt disgusted with the commercialism and lack of real peace and joy.  Events like putting up the tree began to feel rote and like a crazy obligation, rather than a joyful day with music, beer, and chocolate.  Sometimes that tree would stay up until Valentines day because no one had the time or energy to take it down.

Then there was depression.  Nothing kills Christmas spirit like a bout of the dark night of the soul.

At the beach on Christmas day, 2008

The year we moved to Florida, I felt a bit of spirit.  It was all so new.  We didn't have room for a Christmas tree, but I decorated a little orange tree we had with garland.  I am not one that has to have snow on Christmas, so being in Florida with decorated palm trees and the chance to go to the beach on Christmas Eve was a dream come true.

2008 -- the last time we put up our tree.  Macbeth was still with us.

But again, busyness -- going to school and then beginning my teaching career -- continued to sap any energy I had for Christmas.  As the last 10 years have gone by, I can honestly say that most of the time I was just going through the motions.  When we bought our condo, we excitedly bought a new tree as part of our celebration.  But that tree has often lain unopened in the garage in favor of a tiny fiber optic tree which only took 5 minutes to set up.

Even when my sister and her family moved to Ft. Myers in 2010, the Christmas spirit did not return.  It felt totally foreign to me to feel it on any kind of consistent basis.  Oh sure, I would feel a blip of it occasionally when I heard a certain song or when Linus on A Charlie Brown Christmas explains to Charlie Brown what Christmas is all about.  And yes, when I was a regular church-goer I might feel it there. But for the most part, it was just an obligation that I didn't feel much of a connection to, and no amount of forcing it could make it any different.

Loved celebrating with my sister and family even if I didn't feel much spirit.

Then a miracle happened.  I call it a miracle because it has felt that way for the last six weeks.

It was mid-October, and I was playing Song Pop.  One of my competitors played a Christmas Tunes playlist.  As each carol came up, I felt...excited...joyful...READY!  (For the record, I had played these same playlists last year without a blip of care or feeling.)

From that moment on, I have had Christmas Spirit in full, growing, and utterly joy-filled vitality.  I am learning the mandolin, and happily playing Christmas carols.  I watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer the first night it was on, and didn't care when people on Facebook complained that it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet.  Yesterday, Jim and I put up our tree with help from our nephew, and I've been playing music -- all those CD's from the past -- nonstop. I am looking forward to this Christmas like no other I can remember...ever.

Tree ready for a spirited holiday!

What made the difference?  I am not 100% sure.  I do know that this past year I have made a commitment to myself to live the life I've always wanted to live -- thus, this blog, taking up the mandolin, getting into a work situation which is easier on me.  At 58-years-old I realized if I don't follow the stars that beckon now, when will I?  Now or never, as Elvis sings.

Perhaps, though, there is something more at work.  Perhaps the Christmas Spirit is a living thing, like Scrooge realized in A Christmas Carol and Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.  Maybe the Spirit truly did leave my heart for a while, so I can know the joy of its return.  Or maybe it is just like the Prodigal Son -- what was lost is now found. If I had to miss something in order to realize its full impact on me, then all I have to say is THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.  Quantum physics tells us everything in the universe if made of energy.  Perhaps the steps I took this year freed up the energy I needed for Spirit to return.

 I guess this, like everything else, has to do with where we put our priorities.  Obviously over the years my priorities have shifted.  Yet, that still doesn't dampen the fact that this Christmas Spirit has taken me by amazing surprise, and I couldn't be happier about it.  By the time we're in our late 50's, we often think there are no more surprises left.  So to be surprised by this Spirit has been miraculous.

Even if I didn't believe this Spirit will ever return (and I didn't),  I will never stop believing in miracles.  They are everywhere, just waiting to happen.  Just waiting to take us each by surprise.

Gratitude: "Love is Everything"

I could post a list of things for which I am grateful. I did in my journal this morning. It has been a great year in so many ways, and yes, I am thankful.

But today it is about Love.

Love of the family I will celebrate with today.  Love of the people I have celebrated with in the past...so many now long gone.

Thanksgiving 1984  Minerva, Ohio

Thanksgiving 1986  Orlando, Florida

Love is everything.  George Strait released an album this year with that title.  I heard the album for the first time on May 31st -- the 15th anniversary of the death of my father.  I was brought to tears.  Strait's album has been my favorite go-to all year...when I'm stressed, when I'm happy, when I'm confused.

Love answers every question. Love heals every situation. The fact that a huge percentage of the population doesn't believe this doesn't change the fact.  Anyone who has applied love in a tough situation knows the power and impact it can have.

A Course in Miracles makes it clear:  One problem (lack of love).  One solution (love).

Of course I'm talking about the application of love -- a change of heart -- the melting of the ice we often employ to protect ourselves from others.

The song George Strait recorded is not available on a YouTube video.  Guess that just shows how old school George can be.  So I've provided the words below.  Check it out on iTunes if you are so inclined.

May you have a beautiful day, full of Love and Grace and Blessings realized.

Love is Everything

Songwriters: Casey Beathard and Pat McLaughlin

Love is everything

It's a whole lot more than going to the store for a wedding ring
It's kissing' and a hugging' but it's also the kicking and the cussing thing
I've been told

Love is everything
It's a smile on your face on a cold winter day at the thought of spring
It's getting up at night for the cry of a little bitty baby thing
And it's growing old

Love is everything
It's those fires that daddy stoked those nights to keep you warm
It's the hell your mama went through the day you were born
And it's a thunderstorm

Love is everything
Oh, it's going off to war, it's the back and forth on a front porch swing
It's the kiss that you got in the old parking lot of the Dairy Queen
And it's you and me

Love is everything
It's looking out for everybody else but number one
And it's all that really matters when all's said and done
And the race is run

Love is everything
It's a rose on a stone, it's the words in a song that the choir sings
It's the tears of goodbye and the place that you fly to, to get your wings
Yeah love's the king
Love is everything
Love is everything

One Friday, Fifty Years

One Friday, fifty years

Life so very different then

Black and white, prayers said

A world tilting off its axis.

We did not know this was

just the beginning.

We did not know how crazy

it would get.

We did not know

how this would resonate.

We just sat.

And watched.

We were quiet.

We were stunned.

We were sad.

Step one in the loss of innocence.

Book Title Poem

Recently, a friend posted an idea called the Book Shelf poem -- lining up your book titles to create a poem.

It has taken me a couple of weeks to get on it, and finally I have.  I collected over 60 book titles -- just writing down ones that stood out to me, not necessarily my favorites.

I thought a lot about whether I would add extra words.  There are not rules for this kind of thing, so I knew I could if I wanted to.  But somehow, I didn't want to.

Then I hit on an idea of using something else to tie the book titles together -- categorizing them as I often have my students do with words and phrases.  I decided to use song titles that asked questions -- and I allowed that sometimes I would be using questions in the songs themselves, not necessarily the titles, if that worked.

I set out about 16 different song title categories, and began matching up the book titles.  I discarded quite a few book titles and a couple of the song titles that didn't seem to work.  Then I considered what kind of theme this whole collection represented and, of course, it has to do with the journey we travel in this life.  It gave it a frame, anyway, however loosely.

I numbered the categories.  Here is a portion of the layout:

 

 So now...the poem!

***

Krik! Krak!

Hot Damn!

Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

Good Times/Bad Times

Living Juicy

Trout Fishing in America

Just a Couple of Days...

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Dreaming of Babylon

Archeology of a Circle

Notes from the Underground

Interrogations at Noon...

How's It Going to Be?

The Force of Spirit

Finding What You Didn't Lose

Writing for Your Life

Krik! Krak!

Hot Damn!

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

The Road

Far from Home

A Separate Peace

Chasing Down the Dawn...

Do You Remember?

Finding Florida

Florida Stories

Florida Poems

The Wild Heart of Florida

Forever Island

Krik! Krak!

Hot Damn!

What's Love Got to Do With It?

The Root of This Longing

Warriors of the Heart

Small Wonder...

Who'll Stop the Rain?

The Metamorphosis

Fate and Destiny

Mist

Heart of Darkness...

Do You Know?

The Language of Life

Colors of Freedom

The Rebel

You Can't Catch Death...

Where is the Love?

A Lamp in the Darkness

Catching Fire

A Circle of Quiet

Sailing Home

Krik! Krak!

Hot Damn!

Can You Hear Me Knockin'?

Calling Me Home

By the Light of My Father's Smile

I Thought My Father Was God...

What is Love?

Being Peace

The Red Tent

The Color Purple

A Stone for a Pillow...

How Will I Know?

Sacred Contracts

The Glance

Grace (Eventually)

Couldn't Keep It to Myself

Krik! Krak!

Hot Damn!

Is This the Real Life...?

Things Seen and Unseen

The Path

A Wrinkle in Time

News from the Universe

God Never Blinks

...Is This Just Fantasy?

Above the River

A Woman's Path

Joyful Noise

Riverwalking

Ceremony...

Remembering the God to Come

***

Free the Mind, Equip the Heart

This is an incredible speech by a young man named Ethan Young from the state of Tennessee.

He nails it.

Addressing the issues with Common Core, teacher evaluation, standardized testing, and overuse of data he speaks for every teacher I know.

Teachers that are tired.  Teachers that are scared. Teacher that are looking to flee because of the incredibly outlandish and unworkable demands being made on them.

And a question that needs to be addressed:  Haven't we gone too far with data?

Everything this man says is true, and what teachers have been saying for years.  Somehow we are always met with the refrain that we somehow don't want to be "accountable" -- a word we've come to abhor because nothing is further from the truth.

Ethan Young gets it, and speaks of the disconnect quite elegantly. Here are other gems from Mr. Young which bear repeating:

As a craft, teaching is an interaction. Thus, how can you expect to gauge a teacher's success with no control of her students' participation or interests?

The task of teaching is never quantifiable.

If everything I learn in high school is a measurable objective, I have not learned anything.

(Are all the people who insist we post an objective, explain the objective, repeat the objective, and quantify if the students learned the objective listening???)

My favorite part is when he does the takedown on school only being useful to prepare for college and career.  He rightfully evokes the Founding Fathers "screaming from their graves"...

We teach to free minds.
We teach to inspire.
We teach to equip.
The careers will come naturally.

Yes, they will.  I believe that because I've seen it and experienced it myself during my many years on this planet. 

****

I first saw this video the same day that I read about Microsoft dumping their hated stack rankings -- the same kind of ranking used now with teachers.  In fact, right here in Florida the court has ordered the state to release the unstable VAM scores used for teacher evaluation, known to be unreliable, leaving media outlets open to publishing this data--as if it really said anything valid about teachers.

This happened in Los Angeles last year.  A teacher took his own life over it.

Public shaming is now what you get with a career in education.

With all of this being said, it is easy to believe that the point of all of this is to bring public education to its knees so that private firms can take over.  Legislators have already starved the schools of any meaningful funding, made pay increases nearly impossible for teachers, and are now implementing unproven standards at a pace that no reasonable human being can keep up with.  I am only in my tenth year, but the changes in funding have produced noticeable negative effects, and more so every year.  All of that while the pressure increases on everyone involved -- especially the children.

It's insanity.  It's misdirection.  It's confusing to the public. It's confusing to those of us in education who can't figure out how anyone thinks any of this is a good idea.

Is there any other profession that has outsiders dictating everything?

I've known some teachers who have bailed for other opportunities, and I defend their right to do so.  Everyone has to follow their own heart. And let's face it, sometimes the decision comes from the financial stress of teaching without raises and spending so much of our own money on classroom supplies and fundraisers.

But I won't be walking away.

When others talk of leaving, I know I'll stay.

Why?

Because I teach to free minds.  I teach to inspire.  I teach to equip -- with communication and critical thinking and writing skills.  I know I am not a data point, a VAM score, a tick mark on an iPad.  I know what I do is not quantifiable -- yet, I can see the results.  I like that the greatest minds come together in a Language Arts classroom -- and not just all those famous guys, but the great minds of our young people who truly do have something to say if you give them a chance. 

I teach because this is who I am -- and life is simply too short to be someone else. I teach to free the mind and equip the heart -- mine and my students.

I came a long way to make my teaching career happen.  It was forged out of years of doing every other kind of job imaginable. When I found this mission for the second half of my life, I knew it was the right and perfect thing for me.  I have said for years that God has not brought me this far to see me fall on my face.  I believe there are still many lessons for me to learn and perhaps an influence I can have.  I just cannot get sidetracked from what I know.

This is my mission.  As hard as it is and may still become, I'm sticking to it.

Being What Counts -- A Truly "Found" Poem

It's been a dry spell with this blog, but perhaps I'm making my way back today.

I scheduled a personal day off for some thinking and writing time, and so far, so good.

I found the following poem while pulling together another poem.  I wrote it during the National Writing Project Summer Institute on June 28, 2012.  It was prompted by a reading from Lucy Calkin's book The Art of Teaching Writing.  She addresses this idea of being joyfully literate and how as teachers we must teach the writer, not the writing; teach the reader, not the reading.

Obviously this inspired me, and my personal teaching philosophy poured out on the page. Now that I have found this poem again, I am inspired once more.  What follows is what I've learned is the best way to teach, and represents my best days in the classroom -- when I remember. When I don't get sidetracked -- which is all too easy.

Today I made the decision that JOYFUL LITERACY is forever the premier goal in my classroom.  It will be posted for all to see.  I am determined this time not to forget!

Joyful orchids on Useppa Island

Being What Counts

Joyfully literate

Conversation and intention

Moving through the spirals

of structure, the structure

of meaning, the art of

conversation

 Vocabulary

Joyfully literate -- able

to talk easily, to find a 

way in, any way in,

the mark on the page,

framed and signed for all

to see.

We rush

this text, that text,

interruptions

"no time" becomes a mantra

let's see it as an excuse

Slow down.

Join the conversation.

Be vulnerable.

Okay not to know

Okay to simply ask

"What do you think?"

Can we see this as a strength?

Must we be know-it-alls?

Is that joyful?

Do we write, revise, model

for our students?

Do we actively read and 

share what we read?

Are we joyful?

Imagine...

Being with text

What emerges?

Where is the way in,

the opening?

It all counts.

Do we take time to

contemplate

or do we expect

easy quick answers?

Do we only think about

what "counts?"

Can we re-imagine what

"counts" means

Does it "count" toward

greater ability to

THINK?

Does it count toward

greater creativity?

Does it count toward

greater communication?

Isn't it true that these

things that count are

hard to quantify in

an A, B, C, D, or F?

Conversation

matters.

Expression 

matters.

Openness

matters.

If we teach our children well,

if we teach them basic safety, 

we usually use these words:

STOP

LOOK 

LISTEN

These words will form 

the basis of everything

I do.  

STOP            Take time

LOOK          Really "see"

LISTEN      For the next step

The way in

to Joyful Literacy.

hms  9:30 a.m. 6/28/12

 

The Classroom Playlist

The students in my third period brought up playing music in the classroom several times, before I finally decided to do something about it.  Shuffling items on my iPod -- even specific genres -- simply was not cutting it with them.

In the past, my classes have been able to agree on at least one artist I could safely play:  Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, John Legend, and in spring 2012, Adele.

Michael only.  No brothers allowed.

But these 8th graders are not that easily pleased.

We began with a brainstorming.  The #1 Rule: everything is listed while we gather ideas -- nothing is tossed.

Immediately someone said, "Can we all agree that Justin Bieber does not go on the list?"

Against the rules. Let's start again.  EVERY SUGGESTION GOES ON THE LIST WITHOUT COMMENT.

The list begins: Miguel, Future, Ciara, Boyz II Men, Jeremih, Michael Jackson, Jay Z, Johnny Cash, Def Leppard, Aerosmith, 3 Doors Down, Pierce the Veil, Korn, Lorde, One Direction, Filter, TLC, Drake....on and on.

I take the list home and go to trusty iTunes.  Some bands simply have no clean versions of any song, so they get eliminated immediately.  I do find a new clean Drake song, and old Chris Brown ("Forever") that I really like, and I discover that I am a fan of Papa Roach and 3 Doors Down.

So, I create a list: Drake, Lorde, TLC, Linkin Park, Ciara, Boys II Men, 3 Doors Down, Papa Roach, Nicki Minaj (just one: "Starships"), Chris Brown, Blue Oyster Cult, Johnny Cash.  I add several of my own that I think they might be able to handle.  Soon I have a playlist of over 80 songs.

So, we test it out. They are working independently on storyboard projects and I put on the playlist.  They are happy to hear some of their favorites.  But they are not without complaints.  I had put Jackson Five's "The Love You Save" on the list.

Miss, we said Michael Jackson, NOT the Jackson Five.

The Funkadelics "Atomic Dog" made it through first period, but third soundly rejected it.

What IS this?  

The only acceptable Johnny Cash

They were mixed on Florida-Georgia State Line's "Cruise," even though I had the version with a rap by Nelly.  I'm leaving it on.

And they didn't know what to do with Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire."

Miss -- we want OLD MAN Johnny Cash, not YOUNG MAN Johnny Cash.

So, "Hurt" has been downloaded to the list.

Songs I added that passed:
"Love Shack" by B-52's  (My mother loves this song!)
"You Make My Dreams" by Daryl Hall and John Oates
"Separate Ways" by Journey
"No One" by Alicia Keys (they were all singing along)
"Friday I'm In Love" by the Cure
"Breaking the Chains of Love" by Fitz and the Tantrums
"Mystery Train" by Elvis Presley
"Who Do You Love" by Bo Diddley
"Radio Nowhere" by Bruce Springsteen

Surprised ol' Bo made the cut!

"Train in Vain" by the Clash
"Radar Love" by Golden Earring
"Refugee" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Still to be determined:
"Bang the Drum All Day" by Todd Rundgren
"Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.  (I predict this will get tossed)

I've just added three Queen songs, one being "Under Pressure" with David Bowie.  We'll see.

The strangest comment of all...I had put "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown.  One boy said, "Please turn this off.  They are talking about how they hate white people."

Huh?

Bottom line -- I love having the music playing.  It makes the day much more enjoyable.  The key to the "right" song for them is a strong beat.  I seem to be able to get away with just about any song as long as the beat is catchy enough.  So be it.

I'm learning!